Pretending to have a Happy Ending
by Tori101
Summary: Luna realizes that a first love is hard to let go…and Shinn is holding on tight. But even though she hears him whisper that girl’s name into her ear late at night, she can’t help but pretend it’s her name. She can’t help but love him still. Oneshot SxS


**Pretending to have a Happy Ending**

Luna realizes that a first love is hard to let go…and Shinn is holding on tight. But even though she hears him whisper that girl's name into her ear late at night, she can't help but pretend it's her name. She can't help but love him still. One-shot SxS

**_Disclaimer_**: I don't own Gundam Seed.

The rain splashed against the window softly, creating a quiet rhythm. It was soothing to the ear, and it made the humid silence tranquil and serene. Her hands shook, and the dark black liquid in her mug quaked and rippled.

Bringing the mug up to her lips, she took a long sip of the strong liquid and set the mug back on the table top. A deep sigh escaped her lips, and she closed her eyes for a moment. Her blue silk bathrobe with the seashell pattern was cool to her body and though soft, made her feel uncomfortable. She wished she still had her fluffy pink robe, with the thick sleeves and rose design, but he'd given this one to her as a gift. That made it much more precious to her.

Taking a glance around the kitchen, she found her eyes taking in the blue of the room. Nearly all the rooms were blue, blue or white at least. That was how he'd liked it, so she'd agreed. She liked to think that he loved blue so much because it matched her eyes, but she knew that wasn't the reason.

"_She looked good in blue."_

His words rang through her head like wind chimes, distant, yet close and dear. He liked to talk about _her_ often-much too often for her tastes. But it was always okay, because she had him all to herself now. She knew he'd never leave her, or at least never go after another woman. He was much to devoted to her…but which _her_?

Standing from her seat at the kitchen table, Lunamaria picked up her mug and carried it over to the sink. She dumped the rest of the coffee out and rinsed the mug before setting it on the counter to dry with the others. She then rested her palms against the marble counter top and stared through the window. Out into the bleak, gray, rain streaked morning.

Sounds from the hallway broke her out of her trance-like stare and she turned to see who was entering the kitchen. It was him. Just at the sight of his messy black hair and ruby red eyes, she felt all her troubled thoughts leave her, for the moment, and she slapped a genuine smile on her lips.

"Good morning," she greeted warmly as he walked over to her.

His eyes looked tired and a bit troubled, but they always did in the mornings. She was just glad he didn't have a hangover, or else she'd never hear the end of it. In moments, he was by her side and his arms around her waist. His lips barely turned up into a smile before they planted themselves on hers.

The kiss felt like heaven to her, but she knew it wasn't hers really, but another's. Though she didn't want them to, her mind began to replay last night as though it were happening that second.

She really wished she only had to see what was happening, but she had been able to hear and remember every single word spoken between them last night. They'd been drinking a bottle of wine, to celebrate their third anniversary. Three years of love and devotion to each other, but Luna couldn't help but feel that there had been another person there; taking more than half of the emotion she was supposed to have received.

After the bottle was finished, it had been a battle for breath after their lips practically became glued together. It had only take a minute or two to make their way down the hall to their bedroom. Of course, it was blue as well. Except this room had an ocean theme to it to go along with the blue. Beautiful seashells in baskets set atop dressers, blue satin curtains with fish and waves stitched into them seamlessly, the walls were even painted like an island beach. The waves rolled towards them from all sides, threatening to submerge them in unimaginable depths of water.

She was afraid of the ocean actually. Scared skinless of going on a boat just to sail into open sea-but she never told him. She'd never want to take the serene look off his face he only got when he was near the ocean. Sometimes, they'd go to the beach for a day or two, just to relax and for him to stare out into the waves, a smile on his face and no words spoken between them.

"_She loved to dance in the broken waves on shore."_

They'd easily shed their clothes and were immediately submersed in themselves in the silky azure sheets of their bed. Their bed…so why did they share it every night with _her_? No matter how many times she screamed his name, no matter how many times she kissed him, pleased him, loved him, he'd never say her name. Not even a whisper. Not until they were done and exhausted and lying close together under the sheets, her bare back to his chest, would he inch closer and brush the hair from her ear. Then he would ever so gently lean forward and whisper sweet words she'd never really, truly, receive, into her ear. And then…even more quietly…the words she dreaded every night before she slipped off to sleep…

When Shinn pulled away from their kiss, Lunamaria stared into his eyes, hoping to see in his eyes what she knew was in hers. She tried to ignore the fact that he averted his gaze from hers when her blue eyes stared so deeply at him. He absently brought up a hand and brushed the long magenta strands from her face. Yes, she'd allowed her hair to grow out. It had made him so happy when she'd told him she wanted it longer. He'd suggested that she should grow it just long enough so that it floated above her shoulders. She'd agreed happily and kissed him.

His hands, though rough and calloused, felt soft to her cheek, and she leaned into his touch. There was something about the way he'd tough her, it was as though he was caressing something precious that could be taken away from him easily and quickly if he did anything wrong to it. He leaned forward, his lips finding and gently brushing across her ear. Lunamaria felt tears collect under her closed eye lids, and stopped the sob in her throat.

His voice, deep and serene, floated through her ear and straight to her heart. She wished she'd become deaf only a few moments ago so she wouldn't have to hear him, wouldn't have to pretend his words were for her and her only anymore.

"I love you…_Stellar_."

**Fin**


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